Caffeine: Chemical out of Balance

I got a little out of control yesterday, and it started with caffeine.

More accurately, it started when I was feeling overwhelmed by a project and tired for who knows what reason. Not enough sleep? Too much? Stress? I was dragging, so I decided to run an errand for a change of pace.

As soon as I got in the car, I drove to the fast food restaurant almost around the corner. I told myself I was just going to get a fountain drink, a diet coke, because I love diet cokes from a fountain and maybe the caffeine would perk me up.

It certainly did, as did the hit of salt and fat from the french fries. Oh no. I went on to have two more diet cokes at dinner (telling myself it was better than having beer, which arguably it was, but water was an option) AND onion rings AND a hamburger with a bun. I didn’t eat all of the bun, but clearly, the rings & bun glopped me up with gluten.

Before dinner was even over, I was congested and bloated, and I had to knock myself out with benedryl, which helped both the congestion and the fact that I was vibrating from having about 70 oz. of diet coke.

And, I did not dare get on the scale this morning. Whether I actually gained weight or not, I surely retained more water than usual, so why torture myself?

Today will be about mindfulness. I’m concluding the project, so that stress will pass. I need to practice coping with the stress in a better way, though, because I’ll keep having projects (at least, I sure hope so – I need to work!).

I also need to switch to green tea instead of diet coke. That stuff is hard to kick!

Just trying to keep myself honest by blogging about this, and to take responsibility for my actions. I can’t claim that an addiction to diet coke made me eat fries … I did that to my own self.

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