Hunger Triggers

Apparently, the biggest threat to my ability to eat reasonable portions of healthy food sis not cupcakes, bread, french fries, or hamburgers. It is my car.

I continue to be amazed, now that I’m paying such close attention to cravings, at how often I’ll be driving somewhere and suddenly find myself thinking about bacon. Or fries. Or a hamburger. Or a cupcake. Or just frosting.

I think being in the car became a trigger because I had/have such shame around what I eat than I eat in secret, which means going out, getting the food, and eating in in the privacy of my car on the way home. Which means, in other words, my car is my “safe” space for eating.

Not very safe at all, however, since eating while driving is mindless eating of the worst sort. You are totally focused on trying to drive safely while trying not to spill, which means you are really not taking time to enjoy what you are eating at all. You’re focused on cramming food down your gullet while you are at the stoplight, or in time to drive past a trash can so you can hide the evidence of your binge.

In college, I dated someone who, I discovered, was doing cocaine. I yelled at him and told him that if he was doing something that required him to lock his door, to hide from other people, that should be a huge clue that something is very wrong. Being alone in my car to eat is like him locking himself in his room to do drugs. The solution isn’t getting rid of the car, or room, but learning how to reclaim them as healthy spaces.

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