Finding Support

I’ve got some great friends. I’ve even got some great friends who share what my mother once called ‘my affliction.’

Wait—it is very possible that my mom did not actually, in fact, refer to my weight problem  as my affliction. I think one similarly-afflicted friend and I just laughed about the fact that my mom probably does think about us that way. So, not fair to bash my mom on that.

Even if it is probably what she is thinking.

I think of her like the mom in St. Elmo’s Fire:

know about my daughter? So smart, went to law school, adorable husband. But fat.

OK, really, sorry!

The point I was working towards when I interrupted my own self is that while of course I have some great friends, I don’t really have many who support this particular part of my life. The fat-wanting-to-be-healthy-and-thin and blogging about it part.

They support it, of course, inasmuch as I certainly hope anyone I consider to be a friend would want me to be healthy, but perhaps what I mean when I say they don’t support it is that I’m afraid to ask them to be supportive. I’m afraid to tell them about this blog. To ask them to know too much.

In some ways, when it comes to my thin friends, I just assume they won’t get it. Some of them have made some pretty hurtful comments about other people’s weight, too, so I suspect they may have the same feelings about me.

Some day, maybe I’ll be comfortable talking to them about this. But for now, I’m trying to find a new circle of friends.

Maybe it isn’t very nice or helpful of me to admit this: very selfishly, I hope people find this blog so they will tell me they support me, offer encouragement, and cheer me on. I search the tags to see who else is trying to do what I do. I find inspiration in their stories – your stories – and am just egotistical enough to hope that you might find the same in mine.

Can I do that while staying mildly anonymous? I am finding the power to write down some of the feelings and experiences I’ve had because I’m not really public. (Isn’t it funny to feel like posting innermost thoughts & fears on the internet isn’t “really public?”)

Anyway, holler if you’re out there. I’m enjoying doing this diet as part of a group, because that’s one group of people I get to talk to each week about this process. It definitely helps.

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2 Responses to Finding Support

  1. ladonnabeeker says:

    I support you 100 percent!
    I know I haven’t emailed you back yet, but part of me thought, “Am I ready to have someone checking in on me?” haha I still have your email in my inbox and was waiting until I had “the power.” lol
    Telling family and friends is hard, especially when it’s your skinny friends and family. I have some great friends, too, who have been very encouraging. For a while, I sent out text messages to them once a week with my weight loss update! They all seemed to like it and it was good to hear compliments back from them. It helped me keep going another day.
    For a while, as part of a deal at the newspaper I was working at, I wrote a column almost weekly to track my weight loss. I got compliments from people in the community. That was awkward at times, but I took it the same way you said … they know I’m overweight, so why not let them know I’m working on it. 🙂
    You are doing a great job! When you are ready, if you want to, you’ll share your experiences/journey with your friends and family. 🙂 Meanwhile, I’m here for you! I enjoy reading your blogs. 🙂

    • SO brave to write about it in the paper! I’m very impressed. I will aim for taking pictures at some point today – I may have to get my husband to help. They took some shots last night at the doctor’s office. I’m not terribly vain, but why risk a shot under fluorescent lights when I could get a nice one in the dappled sunlight against the weathered wood in our back yard? Thanks for all of your encouragement.

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