Yesterday, arriving a few minutes early to a meeting, I slid into a seat next to the only person who arrived before me, glad I got to catch up with him as I had some action items to hand off.
He seemed startled, which I took to mean I had caught him unaware, but he then said that he hadn’t even recognized me for a moment as I came toward him, and asked how much weight I’ve lost. He’s someone I like who asked the question in a way that wouldn’t bother you even if you were the kind of person who’d be bothered by such an inquiry. He told me I looked great.
That felt nice!
Talking about it with my husband later, I was feeling really positive, but then did one of those sharp left turns into worst case scenario-world, a world I visit all too often.
I cannot gain weight, I told him. I cannot gain this weight back. I cannot let that happen. If I start to gain weight, you have my permission to lock me in my room until I stop gaining weight.
He asked if he could get that in writing. I assured him that I wouldn’t report him to authorities for holding me against my will, but he told me he wants it in writing so he can show it to me to remind me that I said it.
We laughed pretty hard at that point, which turned my mood back around, and had a nice conversation about what he thinks I’m doing differently this time, and how impressed he is at what I’ve managed to do.
I think before I ask him to lock me in my room at any point in the future, I’ll ask him to replay all of the nice things he said yesterday.