I woke up at 3 a.m. and realized that I’ve got more work to do.
Truly, the work will never end. I get that, and I’ve almost made my peace with that. Almost.
We’re trying to plan a vacation, and I said I wanted to go some place with a pool or beach and warm weather. We narrowed down the options over the weekend, and I even ordered a bathing suit yesterday so I’d be ready to go. (I had no idea what size to order, even after measuring per the instructions, so there’s no telling what will show up in a couple of days.)
I went to bed thinking about how lovely it will be to relax, phone and computer-free, on a small island in the sun next month.
I woke up at 3 a.m. and realized that:
- We’d picked an all-inclusive resort, which would probably mean I’d have very little control over what food I would eat and when each day it would be available.
- I get anxious about overheating and dehydrating, so I would probably get anxious about exercising outside in a tropical climate not close to any good hospital.
- I’d miss a week of my Couch to 5K training program.
- I might have to eat more carbs than I’ve been eating (just 3 servings a day), and that would actually make me gain weight even if I continued exercising, which I probably wouldn’t.
These concerns are somewhat irrational. I’m sure that any resort buffet will have basic lettuce and unadorned protein, and I can pack a week’s worth of my protein shakes and even take extras to be safe.
I can go for walks, and swim, and generally be active even if I don’t push it hard on the exercise front, and not lose too much ground. No
one is grading me on my C25K progress. I can repeat a week if necessary. I won’t completely lose all of my endurance and training in one week of taking it easy.
At some point, I will be eating more than 3 carbohydrate servings each day. And, when that happens, the earth will not suddenly spin in the other direction. Life will go on. I’ll be fine.
I can tell, though, that I’ve been walking on a low balance beam with a safety net but thinking I was on the tightrope without a net, doing it all myself. I’ve made some real progress, but I still need to move away from thinking of food as the enemy. And I cannot be afraid to go on vacation.
I did also realize that I didn’t want to leave the dogs again for a whole week so soon after our last trip, so we’re going to try to find some place closer to home where we can take them with us. We’ve got some big bills coming due soon (the house maintenance that we can’t put off any longer), so it makes sense to scale back this time around.
I waited until 5:30 to wake my husband up to tell him this. He took it pretty well. He’s gone back to bed now. 🙂