Like everyone else, it seems, I’ve lost weight before only to see it come back. With a vengeance. I’m doing things differently this time around, I hope, that will stop the rebound gain.
You know how people talk about having the little angel on one shoulder and the little devil on the other? Well, I’ve added a new character. I’m not really sure which side she sits on. She looks and sounds a bit like Janeane Garofalo, and she pipes up whenever I find myself saying that I don’t want to go outside my comfort zone. When I start leaning toward the status quo, she fixes me with a surly smirk, mocks how the old me would’ve handled the situation, and asks:
How’s that workin’ out for ya?
You can totally picture her saying that, right?
Take tonight. Our group is going to tour a grocery store. Together. As a group. In a store I don’t like in a neighborhood where I know people, scheduled for the exact time everyone is getting out of work and hitting the store. Because nothing says fun like touring a grocery store in a group just as everyone is frantically rushing in after work to grab one quick thing.
The cool kid in me, the person who is a little cocky about weight loss and being in control over food right now because the scale numbers have been dropping for the past 6 months, that person is suffering from muscle fatigue from all of the eye-rolling over how uncool this is going to be.
When it first came up a few weeks ago, I was desperately plotting for how I’d get out of this. But the annoying-because-she’s-right hipster on my shoulder started chipping away at me. Why am I worried about being cool? Am I really going to see someone who will judge me, and if they were someone who judges me for losing weight, they’re certainly someone who probably judged me for being overweight, so why do I actually even care?
After all, this program is only going to work if I actually learn to do things differently. And a grocery store tour to read nutritional labels in their natural habitat, well, that’s definitely something I’ve not done before, so I need to get over my own self on this.
I was thinking I might try to crack everyone up in my group by showing up in a wig and dark glasses, which I may still do, especially if it is cold, because wigs keep your head warm better than a hat.
I’ll report back tomorrow. I’ll try to take pictures if possible.