Kind of Struggling

I’m having a down-energy day. Yesterday afternoon, I got a headache that got worse and worse at the night wore on. The kind that made it difficult to walk, since the action of my foot hitting the ground sent vibrations up into my skull that were absolutely intolerable.

It had been months and months since I’d really suffered like that. I don’t know if it was a migraine, and I’ve never been diagnosed with them, but wow-oh-wow, if there is a worse headache than the one I had, then there are some people who are suffering out there.

When I woke up (and thank goodness I was able to sleep), I felt pretty good, but kind of hung over in a way. We walked the dogs—first time I’ve done that in four or five days—and I could sense, while we were walking, that there was a possibility the headache was coming back.

That was about 10 this morning, and so far, it has not returned. I have taken things pretty easy, working, but taking frequent breaks to get a carrot or drink some water or stretch while unloading the dishwasher or flipping laundry.

What I really am struggling with is wanting something sweet. I actually bought a bar of dark chocolate so that I can have an ounce at the end of the day if I still have a craving. Even though I bought that (healthier) chocolate, I also ate six frozen M&Ms right out of the zipper bag in the freezer. I drove toward a bakery while I was doing errands, but managed to force myself into the thrift store across the street instead, where I bought a painting to channel my urge to spend money and treat myself.

I’m trying to finish up a project that simply needs to leave my hands and go on to the next reviewer. Once I’ve done that, I’m going to go walk at the gym. I’m not going to try to walk fast or particularly far, but I am going to aim to be on the move for at least 45 minutes. Maybe I’ll hit the elliptical so I can watch TV and distract myself.

I’m disappointed that I let that detox get the better of me and knock me off my exercise schedule. I know it won’t take too long for me to bounce back, but I’m angry that I let myself wimp out, and that I forced myself to follow an eating plan that really wasn’t working well for me. I’m also bummed that I was only 2 runs away from completing the 9-week Couch to 5K, because I think it’ll be at least a week before I’m able to run for an entire 30 minutes without popping a lung.

Sorry to wallow. I’m having some yogurt with cinnamon and walnuts now to perk me up and even out my blood sugar. The sun has come out (today has been rain/sun/rain/blinding sun/rain/gloom/sun/gloom so far, so glad sun is back), and I know I can turn it around. If I can lose 70 pounds, I can shake this feeling. Go, me!

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6 Responses to Kind of Struggling

  1. rikristin says:

    I feel your pain and hope you recover from it completely. You are completely entitled to a wallow day, since I have practically taken a wallow month. You’ll get back to the running soon enough. I hope to start the Couch to 5K soon, but not yet since my lungs are still on fire after running less than 1 darn minute!!!! Keep up the great work!


  2. Go you indeed. Seriously. You’re amazing.

    I wonder if these migraines and the attendant sweet cravings are some kind of final stage to this detox? And perhaps at an emotional rather than physical level?

    • Andie says:

      I wonder, too. Maybe I should’ve pushed through for one more day, but I just did not have it in me. I need all my strength & focus to get back on track. Thanks for being there for me!

  3. It looks like a migraine to me. Mine usually comes after having big cravings that can never be satisfied. You are right, after one of those, you feel exactly like being hangover except that you didn’t have the fun part the night before.

  4. I get muscle tension headaches; they are not fun and are equal to migraines on the pain scale so I feel your pain. (no pun intended) Hang in there. *hugs*

  5. Sorry to hear you are struggling:(

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