When I started my year-long weight loss program—Lifelong Way—I set a goal of losing 80 pounds. It seemed reasonable, not trying to lose a full 100 to get back to my college weight, since college was an awfully long time ago.
On Sunday, July 10, 2011, I kicked it off with 12 weeks of an all-liquid, 800 calorie a day, high protein/very low carbohydrate phase. What strikes me as I go back to read the blog posts in the weeks leading up to that kick-off is that I was really struggling with carbohydrates, mostly desserts.
Desserts are still something that I turn to as a treat and a reward. I had coffee yesterday with a dear friend, someone I love but almost never get to see. She’s running the NYC marathon in November. She didn’t want a cookie, but I did, so we split one. She only ate half of her half. Guess who ate the rest, even though it tasted like the baker used clumpy baking soda and forgot to sift?
My book club meets monthly. Having dessert once a month at book club should be manageable, but not if I have two huge servings and set aside two for later, then eat those next two immediately before I eat dinner. Yep, I did that with flan Sunday and Monday.
And now, today, determined to get back on track, I had a high-protein breakfast and a stir fry for lunch. And then, I opened a bag of milk chocolate chips. Not even dark chocolate. WHY?
I wanted to lose 80 pounds in a year, and I think I can still do it. I know I can still do it. It means four more pounds this month. That will take some focus, but it isn’t out of reach.
I’m proud, at least, that although I’m clearly not going to hit the 15 pounds gone that has been in my sidebar for the two months or so, I’ve at least held pretty steady, and averaged 156 over the course of 9 weigh-ins.
I’m glad that I know what it’ll take. I know what to eat, even if I don’t always do it, and I know how to recover when I slip.
I’m glad that I went to the gym yesterday and really pushed myself, doing 2 miles of high-intensity intervals on the elliptical, then running a third mile at a steady pace, which was pretty phenomenal, as I got to watch a thunderstorm roll into downtown through the big windows along two sides of the track.
I’m so glad, too, that I have y’all with me in this. Just admitting about the chocolate chips gave me the strength, as it so often does, to dump the rest of the bag into the trash. And I didn’t just drop it in so I could pull it out, but I poured the individual chips into the mix. I won’t be going back for that chocolate.
Thanks for sticking it out with me, and for providing so much inspiration by sharing your stories. I’m going to hit the gym, then go to my 3rd last meeting with my group.